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uthminsta
1000+ Penny Miser Member
USA
1872 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2010 : 22:43:57
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I was bidding on ebay last night, on a BU 1921 Morgan silver dollar. I didn't notice until the auction was closing that I had bid $2000, not $20 as I meant to. Suddenly, my computer went down. I immediately ran out of the house in my underwear to my neighbor's and started pounding on the door.
Having been scared senseless over the Nigerian underwear bomber in the news,the neighbor refused to let me in. So I ran back home put on some pants and went across the street to my other neighbor's house. As my hands were full holding up my pants, I used my head to knock on the door. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned, Barack Obama stood before me. "Son," he said, "that's a pretty nasty lump on your forehead. We're you pounding your head in frustration because you voted for McCain?" Barry and I shared a good laugh after that and I complimented him on his agenda to outlaw the zinc penny.
Old Mrs. Copperpot answered the door in her nightgown. The TV was blaring in the background, and I had to shout at her, "The President needs to use your computer right away!" Mrs. Copperpot replied, "Only if I can fly "Air Force One"! The president, surprised by the request from Mrs. Copperpot turns to his left (as all Democrats do) to ask his "Air Force One" czar Mr. Tacksedtudeth, if this is something we could acommodate.
With a wink, the czar said, "We are a government FOR the people. And this is precisely what that statement was written for. Let's go." With a smirk President Obama say to Mrs. Copperpot, "While we're out we need to stop in Broke, IL for a town hall meeting I am holding. I'm going to be telling America we are going to adopt a standard for the US dollar based upon silver."
Barry then looked at everyone in the room and laughed, like that will ever happen, send helicopter Ben to pick me up instead.
I rushed into Mrs. Copperpot's house to get at the computer so I could change my eBay bid before time expired. When I got to her desk and wiggled the mouse to turn off her screensaver, I was shocked to find that the last website she was on was...TigerWoods.com! And next to the mouse was her cellphone. There was a text still on the screen. It said, "It's ok to call now...our secret is out...we're still on for tonight right?"
Nobody else saw what was on the screen, for at that moment Ben's helicopter landed in the back yard, cutting the power to the entire block. I yelled in disgust at Barry and Ben, "I NEED TO GET ON THE INTERNET!!"
Just then Al Gore stepped off the helicopter and walked into the house. I was still screaming about the internet when Al tried to hand me an iPhone and said, "Here, I invented this. You can get the internet on it. Hey, I invented that, too."
I stood up to get the phone from him, but forgot about my loose pants. So, there I was with my pants around my ankles, standing in front of the President, Al Gore, the Air Force One czar, and a green Mrs. Copperpot.
The best thing that I could think to say was, "I want you government folks to know exactly how I and the rest of America feels about what you have been doing" With that, I turned around and dropped the boxers as well; turning the other cheek, as it were. The fact that it was quite chilly outside (whatever happened to global warming, Al?) created a Blue Moon, just like we have this eve.
Al, red with humiliation paused for a moment to compose himself and said "Don't you know who I am?" Steadily getting louder, he says again, "Don't you know who I am? Besides inventing the internet, the iphone, global warming, I have been personally involved with most of the inventions of the past 500yrs..." Just then Al shutters and shakes and falls to the ground.
Chortling, I said, "Well, your 500 years are up it seems." And I grabbed the phone from a shaking hand and signed on to my eBay account. Only 12 minutes were left on the auction. Ominously, the high bid was $666! I was about to cancel my bid when
I got distracted by barack openning the closer door. His jaw dropped and he got on the radio and said "We found another penny hoarder. Call in the clowns. |
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