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mickeyman
Penny Pincher Member
Canada
243 Posts |
 Posted - 03/12/2008 : 20:34:59
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 Coming this fall . . . the romantic saga of coin hoarders and the tellers who serve them. Love! Betrayal! And silver coins!
An excerpt from the pilot episode . . .
Him: A box of pennies please.
Her: OK. How come I haven't seen you around lately? You never come to the bank anymore.
Him: Well, I .. I . . I can't lie to you any more. I've been going to another bank.
Her: Oh no!
Him: There's a teller there . . . she gives me pennies whenever I want . . . as many as I want . . . I was going to tell you . . . but I have needs too!
Her: I can't believe it! You're all alike! I feel so cheap and used!
Don't miss it!
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Not all who wander are lost. |
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Ant
Penny Hoarding Member
USA
894 Posts |
 Posted - 03/12/2008 : 20:50:27
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Teller: I thought you were different from all the other penny hoarders!
PH: Baby, there's things about me you wouldn't understand. Things you *couldn't* understand. I'll see you around sometime, kid.
Cue "Unchained Melody". Cut to Penny Hoarder in his garage, stacks of pennies and wrappers all around him. He pours the pennies into the Ryedale. As it starts to sort, he knocks back a shot of whiskey and stares ruefully into the distance . . .
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Lovely dimes, the liveliest coin, the one that really jingles. --Truman Capote
Coins are the metallic footprints of the history of nations. --William H. Woodin |
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El Dee
Penny Hoarding Member
USA
547 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2008 : 21:44:39
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PH: It's not you, it's....ME.
EXTERIOR, CAMERA LOOKING ACROSS ARID PLAIN
PH with Brinks box in each hand, mounts waiting horse, rides off into the setting sun. |
Trust the government? Ask an Indian. |
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Ryedale
Administrator
USA
523 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2008 : 22:48:58
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Meanwhile.........back in Kalamazoo..........Whats that ringing sound...and that "you've got mail"....."you've got mail"....Ring..Ring. in the dimly lit assembly plant of Ryedale Coin, his computer running for the 10th day straight, his head laying on a pile of encrusted zinc pennies, one stuck to his cheek. Gorge Noory in the background on the AM band. Andy is awakened by his phone ringing. It's the Ryedale East Engineering department with another update.....I pick up. Andy we'll all be rich.....rich I tell you.....It dawns on me I'm not awake yet, this is obviously a dream.
Then in my exhausted slumber I accidently touch the solder iron I left on, and jump to my feet wincing in pain, trip over the shipping scale, feet twisting up in bubble wrap, and bash my forehead on the broken Jet Sort. Good Lord that hurts. After the throbbing subsides, I actually check my email, to discover a fresh contact.
"Hi Andy, Long time lurker, first time contacting you...I've been reading the forum for 2 years and I've decided.......I'ts CODE RED TIME, Andy I'm pulling the trigger, I absolutely positively have to have a machine here Overnight, perhaps yesterday if you can swing it, get off your dead a$$ and get one in the box, I've got 2 boxes of pennies I need to sort, and....and....and.....
Cue the inappropriate construction sound bytes, such as circular saw, hammer, air wratchet, hand saw, earth mover, dental drill and human screams...........repeat
Camera Fades as Andy starts another pot of Save-A-Lot Coffee while eating a week old Krispy Kream that the glaze has turned to some form of liquid, cigarrette in the ashtray, smoke rising, burned the entire length without a drag as evidenced by the long ash. (I don't smoke just for dramatic effect) |
Ryedale
GET YOUR DRI-SLIDE FROM IRONBRAID
http://www.ironbraid.com/driside.html
Used with permission from Ironbraid.
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"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the most tempting moment."
— Dorothy Neville-Rolfe |
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WilliamC
Penny Collector Member
USA
471 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2008 : 06:23:42
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Cut to parking lot outside of bank.
Our heroic PH is piling several plastic boxes from the trunk of a car onto a dolly.
He wheels the dolly across the parking lot, into the doors of the bank, and up to the teller window.
Attractive teller sees him coming, breaks down in tears.
"You are always dumping on me, you never appreciated what I could give you!"
Every week it's just more zinc! Is that all I'll ever be to you? A cheap teller at a dump bank?"
Sounds like another project for the First Annual BYOP Sort-Fest.
A script writing contest! |
Sorting In Northwest Mississippi |
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Gresham
Penny Pincher Member
184 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2008 : 17:27:49
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...Meanwhile in another place...
I stare at my computer screen in the downstairs of petroleum lab, "There go those penny hoarders again thinking so small, now that I cashed in my penny hoard and started petroleum classes.. 'Big Oil' here we come. I will gain it all back an then some. Rise oil price, Rise."
-Hey every good story needs a villian.
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HoardCopperByTheTon
Administrator
USA
6807 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2008 : 19:30:26
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| ...and our hero.. HCBTT buys his gas at the petrol station with 2 boxes and 2 rolls of zincs.. slowing down the evil villian that is trying to rob the beloved PHers of their much needed hoard capital.. "Take that you dastardly oil companies!" |
If your percentages are low.. just sort more. If your percentages are high.. just sort more.
Now selling Copper pennies. 1.6x plus shipping. Limited amounts available. |
Edited by - HoardCopperByTheTon on 03/13/2008 19:41:40 |
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mickeyman
Penny Pincher Member
Canada
243 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2008 : 19:53:40
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Critics rave!
"You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll sort!" |
Not all who wander are lost. |
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El Dee
Penny Hoarding Member
USA
547 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2008 : 20:05:36
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PH, elegantly dressed in tux, enters casino, wheels his cart of 50 boxes to the teller's window. Takes chips and casually strolls over to the lively craps table.
roostertail waitress delivers his drink: Vodka martini, shaken, not stirred.
PH places his bet as Oil Exec Type, petting small dog, sidles next to him.
OIL EXEC TYPE: "I'll bet you double or nothing on your entire hoard that you'll roll a 12."
PH: "You're on."
OIL EXEC TYPE: "Son, I didn't get your name."
PH: "Ton...HoardingCopperByTheTon."
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Trust the government? Ask an Indian. |
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aboxaweek
Penny Collector Member
USA
326 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2008 : 20:25:40
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And with that oil rises to a new high and defeats our copper buddy
*screams and sirens wailing in the distance*
noooooooooooooooooooooo!!! says miss zinc. how could you!!!
It was coming sooner or later.
Slap fight breaks loose while distracted villan does not notice our copper buddy sneaking off into the distince... |
*HUCKABEE*
___08'____
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Edited by - aboxaweek on 03/13/2008 20:26:18 |
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HoardCopperByTheTon
Administrator
USA
6807 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2008 : 21:11:23
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! They got me.. I can hardly afford to put gas in the Toyoyo any more to haul my few measely boxes of pennies home.
..Back at the casino.. "I like my pennies shaken.. and stirred"
The lovely coctail waitress delivers his drink.. and he tips her with 4 rolls of zinc.. machine rolled of course.
He smiles.. thinking of how long it took him to double his hoard the last time.. even money on 36 to 1 odds.. oh yeah, he'll take that bet every time. If only some bank tellers were that generous with their pennies.
He places his bets.. "Give me $2 each across the hard ways.. off on the comeout" He places a green chip on the line and calmly chooses 2 dice. He rotates each die between his fingers.. his sensitive hands attuned by years of hand sorting to detect any minute weight difference. The stickman rakes in the remaining dice and places them in a little wooden tray out of the way. He tosses the dice hard.. they bounce high in the air after traveling the full length of the table.. arcing well above the rail heighth.. (yes, he is a high roller) to land safely in the field. The first die settles.. and it is a 6.. the other die continues to spin.. and unfortunately for Oil Exec type it comes up as an Australlian 6.. the 6 is on the felt! He wins! He collects his winnings from the Oil Exec Type.. who scowls. The little dog lifts his leg and lets his owner know just how he feels.. nobody respects a loser. Then he bounds down and starts running accross the casino floor.. the Oil Exec Type in hot pursuit. Our hero takes the green chip the boxman has tossed him and places it atop the other chip on the line. Then he tosses another green chip and calls a "YO" He tosses the dice.. and Bam! A 6 and a 5! He is on a roll now. Then he rolls a 3 and 2. "The point is 5" says the boxman. He slides 6 green chips (6 boxes of pennies) behind the line. Next roll.. a 4 and a 4. "Parlay" he says making it a $20 bet on the hard 8. Then a pair of 3's to follow it up.. "Parlay" he says again. Right back with a pair of 3's.. a $180 payout. "Give me a hundred and let a hundred ride" he says. He tosses a black chip into the field.. He rolls Boxcars.. the field bet pays 2 to one. He takes his field bet down. Next roll.. a pair of 4's. "Give me a hundred and let a hundred ride" He continues rolling pairs.. this time Little Joe.. "Parlay" he says, bringing his hard 4 bet up to $16 (That will buy a few CWR's) He sends the dice charging down the table once more.. A pair of 4's! This is better than finding an Indian cent. They count out 9 black chips. He takes down his $1000 from the hard 8 (another 40 boxes) as well as his other hard ways. He rolls a 5 to make his point, then collects his winnings to go off to the cage to convert them back into fiat to fund this week's penny purchases. Yes, he has played this game before.. |
If your percentages are low.. just sort more. If your percentages are high.. just sort more.
Now selling Copper pennies. 1.6x plus shipping. Limited amounts available. |
Edited by - HoardCopperByTheTon on 03/13/2008 23:16:58 |
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NotABigDeal
1000+ Penny Miser Member
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2008 : 06:23:49
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Someone else also visits the casino I see....
Deal
p.s. Roulette is my game of choice, tax free! |
Live free or die.
Plain and simple.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your council or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."
- Samuel Adams |
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mickeyman
Penny Pincher Member
Canada
243 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2008 : 08:28:05
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Man1: I met that cute teller at the Bank last night. She gave me a box of pennies, and you know what! One of the rolls had and Indian Head!
Man2 (incredulously): She gave you Indian Head???!!! |
Not all who wander are lost. |
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NotABigDeal
1000+ Penny Miser Member
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2008 : 17:33:47
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quote:
Originally posted by mickeyman
Man1: I met that cute teller at the Bank last night. She gave me a box of pennies, and you know what! One of the rolls had and Indian Head!
Man2 (incredulously): She gave you Indian Head???!!!
Oh man, that one got me laughing....
Deal |
Live free or die.
Plain and simple.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your council or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."
- Samuel Adams |
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Ant
Penny Hoarding Member
USA
894 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2008 : 18:52:49
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PH strolls out of the casino back on to the Strip, ready to go where ever the night takes him.
Suddenly from out of the shadows steps a familar polyester-uniformed figure.
"Brinks Delivery Man!  " cries PH.
"That's right, PH. It's me. Fancy meeting you here. I didn't know you were such a high roller. Shouldn't you be home spending the evening with your Ryedale?"
"Knock it off, wise guy," retorts PH. "What do you want?"
"What do I want? What do *I* want??!? I'm sick and tired of carting in your boxes of pennies and what I want is revenge!!!!"
Brinks Guy pulls a revolver from his holster. "EAT LEAD, PH!"
Shots ring out into the night, but PH is left standing.
"Heh heh, chump. I guess you didn't know that I always keep a spare roll or two in my shirt pocket!  "
"Curses!" yells Brinks Guy. "I'll get you next time, PH!"
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Lovely dimes, the liveliest coin, the one that really jingles. --Truman Capote
Coins are the metallic footprints of the history of nations. --William H. Woodin |
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HoardCopperByTheTon
Administrator
USA
6807 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2008 : 19:12:57
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| PH calmly removes the penny rolls from his pocket and detaches the deformed lead from the rolls. He places the lead in his other pocket.. "That will be good for a little extra cash at the scrapyard" |
If your percentages are low.. just sort more. If your percentages are high.. just sort more.
Now selling Copper pennies. 1.6x plus shipping. Limited amounts available. |
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After Sunset (at the Bank)
Forum Locked
